There is a lot written about the life altering experience of having a child. It's all true. The day Jacob was born certainly lived up to all of the lore. We, like all parents centuries before us, found ourselves tossed back and forth in the waves of... joy ...fear... excitement... worry... and in the middle of the emotionally raw juxtaposition of ...the fragility of life and the resilience of life ...the crisis of self identity and surety of self identity... the helplessness of lack of perspective and the clarity of new perspective... all at once. And, like the vast majority of first time parents centuries before us... at the end of the day we survived and were a beautiful family of three.
That was June 9, 2011. A red letter day, indeed.
Funny thing, though. If life had a tour guide, I smile at the thought that at that point we would have heard something like...."Fasten your seatbelt folks, we will begin the ride shortly."
Wait.... What?!?!
It's true. At the risk of minimizing the birth event of our first child. I am going to say it.... that was nothin'.
On May 7, 2012 we walked into a hospital with Jacob, our precious baby boy, after a long year of medical challenges and hospital stays.... and handed him to a surgeon knowing and signing papers agreeing... to put him to sleep... open his little baby chest... stop his little baby heart... fix it... start it back up again... and wake him back up.
(It's been a year and I still welled up when typing the words "stop his little baby heart". Eeesh. They stopped his little baby heart!)
Those hours will stand forever as the longest of our lives.... and that experience was transforming in a way that I don't know we will ever be able to adequately articulate. Partly because of the emotional trauma of the experience, sure. But mostly because of the flip side of that emotional trauma. That is... all of us, all of you included, were charging headlong into that trauma together with the faith, hope, dreams and prayers that it would -in fact- make our little boy better.
And it did.
Today we celebrate our first anniversary of *that* amazing day.
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A year ago we were here...
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Today we are here...
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And here...
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And here...
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There. Are. No. Words.
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Well, my eyes are all teared up reading this.... what a remarkable year, and what remarkable people you all are. There are no words for me to express how in awe I am of you, and how graciously you have navigated your way to today-
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm so happy every time I see another update with wonderful pictures of Jacob and his great parents!
Eeesh...my eyes are tearing up as well, but because of how remarkable all of you are! It's been a wild ride, I mean, they "stopped his little baby heart" for crying out loud! You are all super heroes...all three of you!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Stacy
Yikes! One year has flown by so fast. Uncle Fred and I almost daily remark what magnificent
ReplyDeleteParents both of you are. And at the center of it all is a little boy who is the love of all our lives. In addition, Sarah, you always know just the right words to engulf us all and make us feel a big part of his your life experiences. We wish nothing but the best to a great little family of three. Love you all. Auntie B and Uncle Fun
ReplyDelete:) !!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove you guys.